Moments

There are moments in life you'll never forget. For some it may be when they lost their virginity or their high school graduation. I have all of those memories too, but it's fascinating to look at the "little" moments that lead up to the big moments are what really change your life. Before I jump ahead of myself, let me tell you how one of those little moments ended up changing my life.

It was 2011 and I was 22 years old, about to be 23 in a little less than a month. I was living what was supposed to be my dream. I had graduated college the previous December and moved out to Los Angeles to become an editor. No one tells you as you're going through school what it's really going to be like when you start your career. At least they didn't tell me. All I heard was, "if you work hard in school you'll get a good job, make good money, and you'll be happy." The reality of my situation was a little different. I took the first apartment I looked at because for my first week in LA I was living in a shitty hotel in the Russian area of Hollywood. The apartment I lived in was essentially the parking lot of a liquor store. Nothing breaks your spirit like opening up your gate at 7am to the sight of a drunk homeless man, pants around his knees, pissing on a dumpster. This isn't the moment I was talking about earlier, but it is one I'll never forget. He had a bush that only a homeless man drunkenly peeing on a dumpster could have. It was 3 or 4 different colors and it looked like that disaster of a lawn every town has that never gets mowed. All I could see was the urine dripping from where I'm hoping his penis was, to the concrete 20 feet from where I parked my car. From there I would go to my job, which was less editing and more putting together furniture and scraping old labels off of camera cases with Goo Gone and an Ikea butter knife. 

I don't want to sound ungrateful. The people at my first job saved my life. They gave me a job right out of college, and even kept me around for the summer when the show was on hiatus so that I could pay my bills. When a show is on hiatus, theres almost no work to do. That meant I was sitting in an office that used to be a storage closet with the lead assistant editor pretending to be doing something, anything on the computer. Ari Shaffir had Kyle Kinane on his podcast recently talking about his first album, "Life of The Party." In that album he has a line where he's talking about working at a dead end job and he "dares the Internet not to bore him for another day." I remember listening to that line in that office. I laughed, but I would also get depressed because I knew I wasn't happy with the way my life was going. I was so broke that I applied to Best Buy, Dominos and Pizza Hut to work nights and weekends. I never even got an interview. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself.

One day sitting in that office, I decided to write on a Joey Diaz' Facebook wall. To be honest, I'm not sure what made me do it. I listened to his podcast religiously, and I could lie and say I was listening to him as I wrote it. What's more likely is that I was on Facebook and was just bored and just stupid enough that I didn't think it through. I searched his page today but couldn't find my original post. I think it said something along the lines of, "I want to work for a comedian, but I don't want to come off as creepy. Do you have any advice?" What I did find was our first interaction:

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that he had responded. After the excitement wore off I remember wondering how in the world I was going to respond to that. I never imagined that he would respond, much less actually want to hear my ideas. This is my response:

I almost had a panic attack when I read that this morning, about 90 minutes ago. From that note, just over four years ago, my entire life has changed. 

When we first started hanging out, we didn't do any work for the first month or so. The first time I went to his house I showed him how to upload a picture to Twitter on his laptop and he called me an "unadulterated genius." To me, if that was all we ever did, I would have been happy. Luckily, that's not where the story ends. Joey gave me $100 a week to edit videos of him driving around and beeping at people or making fun of people at Target into "Mad Flavor's World." That led to an album, "It's Either You, Or The Priest" which we recorded in one take on a rented Zoom recorder. From there we shot a documentary, "Where I Got My Balls From." Joey put it out to his Facebook and Twitter friends that he wanted to shoot a documentary. He got $2,500 on Pay Pal and Felipe Esparza donated another $500. With $3,000, a rented a camera, and a loaf of banana bread we flew to New York. We shot everything in one day, with no crew and no real plan, but we made it work.

We started The Church on September 02, of 2012. I argued with Joey and told him we could get two microphones but I didn't want to talk on the podcast. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Looking back on it, I'm not sure why. Ive never been a comic, I'm a shy person who doesn't like talking a lot in normal situations, and I personally hate my voice. In a town full of funny comedians there were plenty of other people he could have had co-host. Luckily, he chose me. Its been almost three years of the most fun I've ever had. I get to eat edibles and be a part of amazing conversations. It probably won't hit me how amazing this time is until I'm much older.

This is why I decided to write this post today. Everything I just told you about has led to another crazy adventure. On the nights of September 18th and 19th Joey is finally shooting a special! I couldn't be happier for him. He's funnier than he's ever been, he has a beautiful family, and now he gets to show what all of his hard work has been for. I'm not a comedian and I can't begin to imagine what it's like to shoot a special. But, I imagine it is one of the moments in their career that they'll never forget. I'm lucky enough to be a part of it, and I want as many people who love Joey as much as I do to be there too. Joey is going to be at the South Point Casino September 18th and 19th shooting one show a night.  If you live anywhere near Las Vegas or have never been and have been thinking of coming, now is the time. You can get tickets to the shows here: http://southpointcasino.ticketforce.com/eventperformances.asp?evt=48 If you're looking for a hotel room call the South Point at 866-796-7111 and ask for a room and show package and they'll give you a discount.

Without Joey I don't know where my life would be. When he responded to my Facebook post my life completely changed and I'll never forget it. There's no way I can ever repay him for what he's done for me. My hope for this special is that he has opportunity to show who he really is and how funny he really is. I hope you can come and spend the night with us!

The Countdown

There's an inside joke in my family. Every birthday I had as a child was most exciting for me not because of the presents or the parties, but because it meant I was older. On my seventh birthday I walked into my parents room and sat down next to mother. I looked up at her and said, "only three years 'till double digits!"To be very honest I'm not sure how old I was when this happened. It could've been seven, but it also could've been anywhere between five and nine. It really doesn't matter. I was always counting down to something I perceived as better and I never lived in the moment. My parents joked that all I've wanted for my entire life was a car, an apartment and a job. It was the truth, all I ever wanted to be was an adult who went to work and made money. What's fucked up is that when I got everything I thought I wanted, I wasn't happy.

I was so anxious to be an adult and get a job that I took online courses the summer between my Junior and Senior year at Emerson College. I took these classes while interning full time in Los Angeles. Let's just say it was very lucky for me that Emerson only accepts transfer credits as a Pass or a Fail. As long as I got a C, I got my credits.  I finished college a semester early, packed my life into my used Nissan Altima and drove to Los Angeles. When I say I "drove to Los Angeles," thats exactly what I meant. I didn't stop at Graceland, I didn't stop at the Grand Canyon, most days I would eat my lunch while I was driving because I wanted so badly to be in Los Angeles, working already. I did the three thousand mile drive in four days, the only problem was, I had no where to live. 

Los Angeles is a very weird town apartment wise. In Boston, you look for apartments three months in advance. In Los Angeles, if you're not moving within two weeks you're wasting your time. I wasn't going to rent someplace over the phone and I didn't feel comfortable crashing on the couch of the only person in town I knew so I got a hotel room. I lasted one night at the first hotel. I should have known it wasn't going to work out when the first key they gave me was to a room with someone already living in it. The second room was barely an improvement. There were two cots masquerading as beds, paint was peeling off of the walls, and I've seen cleaner bathrooms at a truck stop. The following morning I packed my clothes and I got a room at a Rodeway Inn next door. It was barely big enough for the full bed and a mini fridge but at least it was clean and no one was in my room. I had enough money to pay for five days, after that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pay first month's rent and security deposit at an apartment.

Finding an apartment actually isn't that hard when you're broke and you don't have any standards. I took the first apartment I saw.  "The most desirable street in The Valley" my future land lord told me on the phone. What they didn't tell me was that to get to my apartment I would have to walk through the parking lot of a liquor store. Which is fine, if you like seeing a lot of homeless men with their pants down pissing behind a dumpster. Judging from experience, man grooming isn't much of a concern for the homeless population of Sherman Oaks. But back to the apartment. Despite the surrounding scenery it could have been a great place. However, my landlord was about as interested in maintaining my apartment as I was interested in running a marathon. It was one of four bungalows you see all around LA. If you're unaware, bungalow is the French term for tiny house built in the 20's for C-level actors to live in. My bedroom was a walk in closet, and the living room was big enough for a love seat and a TV. Another glorious part of that apartment was the ants. There were thousands of them. Little tiny assholes who were always there, no matter if I left food out or not. It got to the point that I had a bottle of Clorox Cleanup next to my bed and I would murder any ant I saw. I would leave them on the wall or wherever they were as warnings to the other ants. But apparently ants aren't scared off easily. I had a place to live, I had my car, now its time to work.

I was very lucky, the show I interned for the previous summer offered to hire me so finding a job wasn't an issue. The problem was the vast difference between what I thought I should be doing and what I was actually doing. I spent the first year and a half of my professional career building office furniture, using goo gone and a butter knife to scrape old labels off of camera cases, moving boxes and other tasks I try not to think about. There is very little more demoralizing than paying back student loans after sweating all day in a basement storage locker that smelled so bad I was sure it was giving me some new kind of cancer. I had a car, an apartment, and a job, but I wasn't happy.

The only thing worse than working in that basement, was waking up every day hating my life. Long after I left that show I was working nights on another show. I was working 7pm until 5am six days a week. I used to wake up between 1pm and 3pm and the first thing I would do is look at my phone and figure out how long I had until I had to leave for work. Six hours, five hours, four hours... I would blink and magically three hours had passed. I had the same countdown once I got to work, but things worked a little differently. I would be working and working and working. When I finally looked at the clock, only thirty minutes had gone by. I don't like saying I was depressed because I think a lot of people over use that word. I will say my first three years in Los Angeles were the saddest I've ever been. 

Looking back on it, it's funny because it's gotten to the point where I have a strange love for those days. I learned more stacking boxes than I did in sixteen years of school. I learned that I can get through anything. I learned that you have to start at the bottom, no matter your qualifications. Nothing makes me laugh harder than talking to someone right out of college telling me they turned down a job because the title or pay wasn't prestigious enough. Frankly, I would have a very hard time working with someone who didn't start out at the bottom. There are so many details I saw as minor when I first started that I now know are vital. Another one of my favorites is someone telling me their boss asked them to work late or weekends, and they said no because they wanted to hang out with friends. I still don't have friends in Los Angeles. I have a couple people from my first job I love hanging out with but I haven't seen them in almost two years. I have Paula and Joey and that is IT. Without them I would be 500 pounds going from my house to my office with my only stop being a drive thru. I worked every night shift, weekend shift, overnight I was offered. I definitely wasn't the best worker, but I know there wasn't anyone who worked harder than I did.

For nearly a year and a half I have made a living only by working on The Church Of What's Happening Now. I live in a much smaller apartment, I don't have cable anymore, and I have a lot less material things then I would have if I had stayed working in television. I have done thousands of hours of free work trying to get other podcasts off the ground. My family and friends ask me almost daily when I'm going to get a real job. "No one has fun at work." "All you do is get high, that's not a career." Trust me I've heard it all, and I understand where they're coming from. A lot of people must think I'm crazy to be doing what I'm doing. But I've never been happier. Joey Diaz is one of my best friends, and I get paid to hang out with him. Every time we do a podcast I laugh more than a lot of people do in a month. I have met some of the biggest comedians, UFC fighters, and actors in the world. I'm not sure how long this podcast thing will last. Maybe my next episode will be my last. I am finally learning to live in the moment and not worry so much. I know money will eventually come. Whether that means podcasting, managing comedians, or maybe I'll go back to editing some day. I honestly don't know what the future holds for me. I know I'm having a lot of fun right now and for the first time I'm not counting down for anything. Good or bad.

Thank you for checking this out. If you want to contact me I would love to talk: Flyingjewradio@gmail.com

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The Atomic Tweet

First of all, I would like to say thank you to everyone who read last week's blog or listened to the first episode of Flying Jew Radio with Steve Simeone. The support I have received via email, twitter and comments has been amazing. I've been, for the lack of a better word, scared to start releasing these podcasts for months. Now I'm excited to record more and share them with you guys. If you missed the episode, catch up here: Flying Jew Radio. On to the blog:

One of the things I am realizing the older I get, is that I know nothing. That is not to say I'm a dumb person. I always had decent grades in school and I have more street smarts than my "printer paper" white skin should allow. What is very quickly becoming more and more apparent, is that we as people are not all created equal like I was taught from an early age. Our life is molded by our experiences. That two people who grew up next door to each other can have extremely opposing views on very serious subjects. Now, that may seem like something I should have known, and I thought I did. But let me explain what I've learned in the past few years.

I need to establish a few things. I grew up in a very wealthy town. The student parking lot looked more like a luxury car dealership than a high school parking lot. I grew up very privileged compared to most people. In my town however, I was one of the poorer families. This meant I grew up in a modest house, not a mansion. My parents had regular cars, not luxury cars. And our vacations were to Disney World, not Europe. While I was growing up I did wish that we had more money. It would have been nice if my parents were able to buy me a car when I got my license, like a lot of my friends parents were. Instead, I drove my mom's minivan to my job at CVS every Friday-Sunday. I remember sweeping the stock room on the evening of July 4th when I knew most of my friends were out enjoying a BBQ. When I scraped together $2,000 my dad took me to a used car lot. It was one of the ones where someone pulled up to an empty grass lot one day, used a trailer as an office and parked a bunch of shit boxes in the grass. The best car I could afford was a 1997 Chevy Cavalier, Rally Sport Edition. The paint was peeling off the hood, the doors would freeze shut (or open) if it got too cold, and the horn didn't work. Believe it or not, I still love that car. I know it inside out. I wish I still had it. I love it because it reminds me of how hard I need to work.

I told you that because I wanted to tweet something last night. That might not make sense but it will. For those of you who don't care about the Oscar's, you may not know but Sean Penn made a joke as he awarded Alejandro González Iñárritu his Oscar for Best Picture. The joke was about Iñárritu getting a green card. If Kim Kardashian thought her picture broke the Internet, this joke was an atomic bomb dropped on social media. People were outraged. "How dare he?" "He's a racist!" You can imagine all of the tweets and Facebook posts. In fairness, I didn't check the response on Myspace. I was balls deep into an Anarchy Edibles Rice Crispy treat so I fell asleep way before this happened but I woke up a couple hours after. While checking Twitter I noticed something. A large portion of the offended people were white, and most of the responses I saw from Hispanic people either thought it was funny or didn't seem to care. I wanted to tweet something to the effect of: "Sure seems to be a lot of offended white people. Maybe Hispanic people aren't upset because they are too busy working multiple jobs to support their families to care." I decided not to tweet it. I did that because I wasn't in the mood to deal with the inevitable replies that thought my tweet was racist, the joke was racist, or any other negative response you can think of. This really pissed me off. More at myself than at any potential negative tweeter. If I'm going to be, as Matt Fulchiron called me, a "radio personality" I can't worry about the response to what I say. Within reason, I shouldn't have a filter. I shouldn't worry about what Joey thinks, what my family thinks, or what listeners think. This is something I need to work on, and I don't think I'm alone.

A lot of the white people who were so offended by the joke are trying to make up for their white privilege. Why else would they be so upset by a joke about a Hispanic person getting a green card? Most of them probably don't care. As a white person I can say the idea of white privilege is completely new to me. Of course I've heard the term before, and of course I know it is easier going through life as a white person. But before I started dating Paula, who is Mexican, the idea never played any role in my life. Over the past year and a half Paula and I have talked about it a lot. She never gets mad at me about it, she doesn't hate white people, and she only calls me white devil in private. What we talk about is her personal experience and some of the times she has felt the effects of white privilege. I am constantly blown away. My race plays no role in my daily life. I never thought about it while I was applying for college or jobs. I have never had to justify my life choices to anyone who think I am selling out. This is something that, a lot of minorities have to deal with. I am only two years older than Paula. In a world where everyone is created equal we would have a very similar story. But if she lived in the house that I grew up in, took the vacations I took, or had the things I had, she would not have consider herself poor. She grew up 10 miles from Beverly Hills, a town not too far off from my hometown. Instead of BMW's she took the bus. Instead of a modest house, she grew up in a small apartment that had no A/C. I've made my point. 

What annoyed me so much about the thought of white people tweeting at me that I'm racist or I don't know what I'm talking about because of white privilege is that they don't know what that means. I still don't really know what it means. I probably never will. I do know, that even if Sean Penn is racist. Even if Alejandro González Iñárritu got upset at the joke. I would bet that Iñárritu is more upset that the story's are about a joke, rather than the film he made. I didn't see "Birdman," I've actually heard its not that great of a movie. But would the same people who are mad at Sean Penn be mad at him if he made a Jewish joke? Would they be mad if another Hispanic person made the same joke Penn made? I would bet they wouldn't be. I bet Iñárritu wouldn't give a fuck about a chubby Jewish guy's tweet. And if you do, you're part of the problem, not the solution.

Flying Jew Radio

Truth be told I started writing this blog last week. I sat down to write and I didn't know how to say everything I wanted to say. I was going to give up and then I spoke with Joey this morning and he convinced me to give it another shot. As I write this I find myself writing and then re-writing sentences. I should explain why this is so important to me.

For the past 15 months I have been doing nothing except podcasting. My entire professional life has turned into me talking into a microphone. It is all I think about. And if you asked Paula, it is most of what I talk about, which I'm sure at this point is more than just a little annoying. The truth is I have nothing else. I cannot fail. 15 months out of television editing is the same as 15 years. Even if I wanted to go back I'd have to go back to where I started when I moved out here more than 4 years ago. All of that aside, I don't want to go back. I love everything about podcasting. I love the guests I meet and the conversations I have.

All I've ever heard or experienced is that no one likes their job. It's something you have to do to pay the bills and there is no use complaining because everyone does it. The most you can hope for is finding a boss who you don't hate and eventually make enough money that you can have and do fun things in your time away from the office. When I was editing that was my life. I woke up every day with a pit in my stomach. Even though I was making good money and had a good job, I hated where I was going. I don't know if it was depression, but I certainly wasn't happy. For the past 15 months I have loved every second of what I do. My family and friends might not understand why I gave up a high paying job, and I might even have dark moments when I question it. But when it comes down to it I wouldn't change my decision.

The time has come for me to branch out and let you, the listener, know more about me. The Church Of What's Happening Now is one side of me. I get stoned out of my mind on edibles with Joey and I laugh more in one night than most do in a week. There is more to me than that. I think my podcasting strength lies in the questions I ask rather than the jokes I make. That will be the focus of Flying Jew Radio. I will be lucky enough to have some very funny comedians as guests, but my goal is to talk to them more about their journey. I will also be talking with actors, other podcasters, law students, and anyone who has an interesting journey. I want to to talk to people who have experience in their field, so that young people listening can learn from them and follow in their footsteps and maybe avoid some of their mistakes. I want to talk to young people who are already successful and see what their plan is for continuing on that path. This podcast will undoubtedly evolve, but that is where I see it going at this point. This podcast will not be The Church Of What's Happening Now. My hope is to let you into my chubby jewish world. I hope you enjoy it.

I will be releasing my first podcast today, February 16, 2015. From now on I plan on alternating weekly between podcast episodes and blog posts, which can be found here. I appreciate you listening and reading and I look forward to taking this journey with you.

My podcast can be found here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/flying-jew-radio/id776509896?mt=2

Two Hundred and Fifteen Pounds

      Seventy pounds. Well really two hundred and fifteen pounds, but I’m skipping ahead. As some of you probably know last year I juiced for about thirty days. I lost roughly seventy pounds. It was amazing, I hadn't been that light since my early days college probably. I’ve always been a fat kid. Im not sure if it’s genetics or because the other kids hadn't figured out that watching TV and eating peanut MM’s is more fun than…you know…being outside. 

      There are three points, looking back, where I really started putting on weight. The first of which was me getting my drivers license. I grew up in a very nice town about 45 minutes outside of Boston. Looking back it was a great place for a kid to grow up, but there was nothing to do.It’s almost entirely residential and no real center of town where kids can hang out. So when I got my licensee and bought my first car I had what every kid desires, freedom. Freedom for me meant that I could get whatever I wanted to eat, whenever I wanted it. I still remember some of my go to orders. These amazing spicy chicken fingers and fries from a pizza place in Maynard whose name I don’t remember. BBQ chicken wings and fries from Tennessee’s BBQ in Framingham. Side Note: If you're in Mass and are near a Tennessee’s I still contend these are the best wings I've ever eaten. But my favorite, and the main reason I got into this situation, is fast food. It’s delicious, quick, and cheap. I know its terrible for you. I know its not real food. It doesn't matter. To this day I love it. 

      Which leads me to the second event. When I moved to Los Angeles I was very fortunate to have a job. It was nothing glorious but it was on a good show and for decent money for an entry level job. I worked whenever I was asked. My usual schedule was 10am-7pm Monday - Friday. But TV doesn't follow a schedule, many days Id be asked to come early, stay late, and occasional weekend, which I was more than happy to do. I also spent roughly two of my three years working in television working the night shift. Which means 6 or 7pm until 4 or 5 am. Again, I was young and hungry (not for food) and It’s what I had to do. When I was working days I never had breakfast because I preferred sleep over food. The first thing I ate was probably a free Nature Valley Granola bar free from the office. And no, I didn't have it because I thought it was healthy. I had it because it was free and delicious. No better way to start a productive day than a Nature Valley Bar and a Diet Coke. For lunch I probably had a burrito or something from one of the many food trucks that lined up outside my office. For dinner I ate solely fast food. My excuse was that after my 60-90 minute drive home the last thing I wanted to do was cook. I was so tired I didn't even want to get out of the car at a restaurant. I had three to five go to places I would rotate between for dinner, because god forbid one of the drive thru workers recognized me. Which actually did happen when I worked the night shift. Then, even if I wanted to stop at a restaurant (which I did not) theres little open at 4 or 5am other than fast food. Granted, I could've gone grocery shopping. Maybe made a sandwich at home, which isn't perfect but is still better than fast food. But I was tired and lazy and I chose to take the easy route.

      As you can imagine I gained weight quickly. I’m not sure how quickly because I would never go near a scale. Which goes back to my high-school days of sneaking out of wrestling practice rather than weigh-in in front of the entire team. I also never worked out. I mean ever. What kept my weight down(ish) in college was the fact that I lived in downtown Boston and walked everywhere. Its not uncommon to walk 1-2 miles somewhere, especially if I had been out drinking past the T closing. in Los Angeles almost no one walks. There are of course exceptions to the rule. You will see people walking but those people most likely are in Hollywood, people who take the bus, or homeless people. I am none of those things. If you ever visit Los Angeles just drive around. More likely than not the sidewalks will be completely empty. Ive seen people drive less than a block to pick up lunch. I was one of those people.

      February 2013. I was working nights at Hells Kitchen. One of my coworkers and I were talking and somehow the documentary “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” came up. I had just seen it. I don’t remember how I found it. I probably saw it on Facebook or something like that. I was immediately convinced that juicing was for me. I’m a special kind of idiot. Almost anytime I watch a documentary Im immediately convinced of everything I just saw. “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead,” was no different. I watched the director Joe and a truck driver named Phil lose roughly 100 pounds each and all you had to do was juice. I have tried every diet out there. Atkins, South Beach and Nutrisystem just to name a few. But this one, this was the quick fix I had hoped for.

      My friend and I agreed to juice together. I got the same brand juicer that they used in the documentary, I found a recipe I thought I could handle and I was off to the races. I think I lost close to twenty pounds in the first week. I’m not sure, if you want to check you can go to my Youtube channel where I did a daily Vlog. I went to the store every other day and filled my cart with kale, cucumber, broccoli, carrots, celery, apples and grapes. Nothing could stop me now. I could do this for sixty days no problem. Of course that’s not how it worked. I’d say about twenty days in I started to get sick of the juice. I went from making a batch every day to making a batch every two - three days. It got to the point where I could barely swallow it. I only made one kind of juice because it took me so long to find a recipe I liked and I didn't want to take a chance in trying something new. Towards the end I would go entire weekends only having water. Roughly thirty days in, just before a visit from my mother my leg started tingling and I wasn't feeling healthy. I was sick to my stomach and I felt weak. So I ended the fast about a week earlier than I planned. I wasn’t worried though. In just over a month I lost roughly seventy pounds and I was sure that not only would I keep it off, but I would do another fast after my mom left and lose the remaining eighty pounds I needed to lose. Of course that didn't happen. I tried to restart juicing but the smell of it would make me gag and I couldn't bring myself to do it for more than maybe five days. I got down to 229. 

      The issue with fasting is once you start eating again you put weight on, and quickly. I was eating what I thought was healthy. I was making food at home and wasn't going to fast food. But slowly that began to change. I’d get Wendy’s if I had been drinking or smoking weed. I’d order a pizza and wings for the Pats game, because how could I possibly watch football without pizza and wings? Impossible. 

      I know this blog post seems like Im making excuses, and I am. Im not blaming anyone other than myself. Yeah my genetics aren’t great but my brother is a body builder so that’s not it. If I had to guess I think I have a food addiction but that’s also kind of bullshit. I like food that’s bad for me and I don’t like working out. But my goal is only to tell a story. I told you that so I can tell you the third event. I met my amazing girl friend Paula. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about Paula. I want to spend all the time I can with her. This led to a lot of eating out and meals at her mother’s house. Which for a white guy eating real Mexican food for the first time was not good for my weight. Over the first eleven months of our relationship I put on the rest of the weight I had lost plus fifteen pounds. I was 315 pounds. That’s way too much, for anyone. Ever. 

      Joey Diaz, a comedian I’ve been working with for over 3 years and my best friend had been on me to start exercising. All he wanted me to do was walk. And I fought him on it for months. I did it a couple times but there was always an excuse not to. He took me with him to his shows in Austin, Texas and when I saw the pictures of that weekend I knew something had to change. I went on Twitter and asked for recommendations for an IPhone App to count calories and people told me about My Fitness Pal. Another comedian and friend, Steve Simeone had been telling me he’d help me start working out. I was way too embarrassed to work out with someone but he convinced me. I joined 24 hour fitness. I was finally going to do this. And bless her heart, Paula was going to join me. I know if she hadn't I would never have made it this far. 

      The first day I went to the gym was June 18, 2014. I remember because Joey was on Joe Rogan’s podcast. I did barely 15 minutes on the elliptical and went home. I was exhausted. I slept literally the rest of the day and that entire night. I was counting my calories on My Fitness Pal. I still don’t eat perfectly but on most days i stay under my allotted calories. Which has gone from just over 1800 to right now its 1530. No more fad’s. I can’t take the easy way out. There is no quick fix. It will be five months tomorrow. It has taken me almost five times as long to lose the same amount of weight I lost in one month juicing. It has been frustrating at times. But with Paula’s help, who has lost over sixty pounds as well, I know I have a better chance at keeping the weight off this time. I just weighed myself and I am currently 244. That is way more than I should be, but for me its the skinniest I've been in a long time. It’s been a long almost two years. And I have about one hundred more pounds to go, but after losing, gaining and losing 215 pounds Im excited for the future. 

Side note:

      I know a lot of people have issues with weight loss and if anyone out there thinks they can’t do it or it’s too late it’s really not. You don’t have to only eat salads or go gluten free. There will always be someone who will tell you your diet is wrong. The only thing that matters is doing what you can handle. There’s no point in killing yourself doing something for two weeks and then giving up because it’s too hard. Do it at your own pace. Good Luck!

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Hello All!

I plan on updating this as often as I can, hopefully once a week. Check back soon for the first post!

- Lee